1 00:00:07,174 --> 00:00:09,176 2 00:00:51,009 --> 00:00:53,011 3 00:00:58,433 --> 00:01:02,104 I once met a man With a sense of adventure 4 00:01:02,187 --> 00:01:05,899 He was dressed to thrill Wherever he went 5 00:01:05,983 --> 00:01:09,194 He said Let's make love on a mountain top 6 00:01:09,820 --> 00:01:13,073 Under the stars on a big hard rock 7 00:01:13,156 --> 00:01:14,992 I said, In these shoes? 8 00:01:16,618 --> 00:01:18,161 I don't think so... 9 00:01:18,245 --> 00:01:19,371 If you are single, 10 00:01:19,454 --> 00:01:21,582 there is one thing you should always take with you 11 00:01:21,665 --> 00:01:23,166 when you go out on a Saturday night. 12 00:01:23,834 --> 00:01:24,835 Your friends. 13 00:01:25,377 --> 00:01:26,795 Why are we walking so fast? 14 00:01:26,878 --> 00:01:29,631 Really, are we in that big of a hurry to get to an engagement party? 15 00:01:29,715 --> 00:01:33,093 -What, don't you guys want to go? -I did, until I saw this invitation. 16 00:01:33,176 --> 00:01:35,012 -Here. Let me see that again. -Ugh! 17 00:01:35,095 --> 00:01:37,431 "Two souls, one thought." Wow, that is sappy. 18 00:01:37,514 --> 00:01:39,057 That is totally not like Danny. 19 00:01:39,141 --> 00:01:42,352 Must've been her idea. Two souls, one pushy fiancée. 20 00:01:42,436 --> 00:01:44,813 Oh, come on, it's beautiful. 21 00:01:44,896 --> 00:01:48,108 It's a big, romantic gesture to express how they feel about each other. 22 00:01:48,191 --> 00:01:50,485 If two people have only one thought between them... 23 00:01:50,569 --> 00:01:52,362 -...something is very wrong. Ooh, cab. 24 00:01:52,446 --> 00:01:55,407 I remember when Danny had more than one thought, 25 00:01:55,490 --> 00:01:57,451 and they all involved going up my ass. 26 00:01:57,534 --> 00:01:58,910 You had sex with Danny? 27 00:01:58,994 --> 00:02:01,496 He's cute, straight, and we've known him for ten years. 28 00:02:01,580 --> 00:02:03,624 Haven't we all had sex with Danny? 29 00:02:03,707 --> 00:02:05,542 Oh, yeah, that one weekend that I was bored. 30 00:02:05,626 --> 00:02:07,252 Just a New Year's Eve kiss. 31 00:02:07,336 --> 00:02:09,504 I showed him a boob in a coat-check room. 32 00:02:09,588 --> 00:02:10,589 Just one? 33 00:02:10,672 --> 00:02:12,299 -I sensed he couldn't commit. -Mmm. 34 00:02:12,633 --> 00:02:13,967 Okay. We're over here. 35 00:02:14,885 --> 00:02:19,431 Ooh. Baby lamb chops. This is quite a spread. 36 00:02:19,765 --> 00:02:21,600 Two souls, one big budget. 37 00:02:22,684 --> 00:02:25,145 There he was, the fiancé du jour. 38 00:02:25,228 --> 00:02:27,356 Hey, look who's here! 39 00:02:27,439 --> 00:02:29,650 - Congratulations! -Thanks. 40 00:02:29,733 --> 00:02:32,819 -And this is my other half, Hailey. - Congratulations. 41 00:02:32,903 --> 00:02:34,905 Hailey, this is Carrie and Charlotte. 42 00:02:35,572 --> 00:02:37,324 - Miranda. -Oh, Miranda. 43 00:02:37,824 --> 00:02:41,662 Right. Duh! Sorry. I'm just a little overwhelmed. 44 00:02:41,745 --> 00:02:42,663 Danny! 45 00:02:43,705 --> 00:02:45,707 Couldn't remember my name? 46 00:02:45,791 --> 00:02:47,668 Maybe you should've showed him both boobs. 47 00:02:48,543 --> 00:02:51,254 And across the room from the two-soul couple... 48 00:02:51,338 --> 00:02:53,340 I told the other numb-nuts I wanted a Grey Goose on the rocks 49 00:02:53,423 --> 00:02:54,257 a fucking hour ago. 50 00:02:54,341 --> 00:02:56,468 -Chop, chop. - ...a man with no soul. 51 00:02:56,551 --> 00:02:59,513 So, Phil, what is it that you do? 52 00:02:59,596 --> 00:03:01,098 I'm a TV agent, and I fucking love it. 53 00:03:03,183 --> 00:03:06,436 Ooh, what a beautiful wedding ring. Where's your husband? 54 00:03:06,978 --> 00:03:10,440 -Oh, um... He's not here. -Oh. 55 00:03:10,524 --> 00:03:13,777 We're actually taking some time apart. We're separated. 56 00:03:13,860 --> 00:03:17,114 Not legally separated, nothing legal. Oh, God, no. 57 00:03:17,197 --> 00:03:20,492 We're just taking some time to figure things out. 58 00:03:20,575 --> 00:03:22,953 We got married really fast. Love at first sight. 59 00:03:23,620 --> 00:03:24,830 Didn't think it through. 60 00:03:25,288 --> 00:03:28,792 So now we're talking and trying to figure out what he... 61 00:03:28,875 --> 00:03:32,754 actually we, he and I, really want. 62 00:03:33,255 --> 00:03:34,881 We love each other so much, 63 00:03:34,965 --> 00:03:37,926 but that doesn't always mean a marriage is working, does it? 64 00:03:38,009 --> 00:03:39,094 No, it does not. 65 00:03:39,928 --> 00:03:41,972 We had some problems in the bedroom. 66 00:03:42,055 --> 00:03:45,475 But it was more about the fact that we got married so fast. 67 00:03:46,143 --> 00:03:49,229 So now we're just talking and trying to figure things out. 68 00:03:49,312 --> 00:03:52,566 Just talking, nothing physical. I think it's better if we just talk. 69 00:03:53,108 --> 00:03:56,194 So we are talking till we figure it all out. 70 00:03:56,278 --> 00:03:58,488 So, no, he's not here. 71 00:03:58,989 --> 00:04:01,533 Oh. Okay. I have to... 72 00:04:03,452 --> 00:04:04,453 Don't talk to her. 73 00:04:06,329 --> 00:04:09,416 Charlotte realized that she and Trey were two souls 74 00:04:09,499 --> 00:04:10,834 with too many thoughts. 75 00:04:11,334 --> 00:04:15,255 The minute we met it was perfect. I knew we were meant to be together. 76 00:04:15,338 --> 00:04:17,674 I could stop looking, I had found him. 77 00:04:18,300 --> 00:04:20,010 Congratulations! 78 00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:21,011 And what about you guys? 79 00:04:21,470 --> 00:04:23,513 Oh. Well, I'm not dating anyone. 80 00:04:24,014 --> 00:04:26,516 And what about you, Miranda? Seeing anyone special? 81 00:04:26,933 --> 00:04:30,270 Actually, no. But I am seeing a whole bunch of unspecial guys. 82 00:04:30,353 --> 00:04:31,855 83 00:04:31,938 --> 00:04:33,273 That's one of the requirements to date me. 84 00:04:33,356 --> 00:04:35,734 "Are you special? Sorry, move along. 85 00:04:35,817 --> 00:04:38,361 But if you have any unspecial friends, could you give them my number?" 86 00:04:38,445 --> 00:04:39,529 87 00:04:39,613 --> 00:04:42,783 I'm serious. Do any of you have a completely unremarkable friend 88 00:04:42,866 --> 00:04:45,786 or maybe a house plant I could go to dinner with on Saturday night? 89 00:04:46,369 --> 00:04:47,621 She's hilarious. 90 00:04:50,874 --> 00:04:51,875 Ugh. 91 00:04:52,793 --> 00:04:54,920 Hey, what the hell was going on in there? 92 00:04:55,003 --> 00:04:57,839 Felt like your little comedy routine should have a two-drink minimum. 93 00:04:57,923 --> 00:05:00,842 We were standing in a group of married or engaged women. 94 00:05:00,926 --> 00:05:02,803 Just trying to avoid the pity party. 95 00:05:02,886 --> 00:05:04,471 And here I thought it was a cocktail party. 96 00:05:04,554 --> 00:05:06,765 We were the only single people in there. 97 00:05:06,848 --> 00:05:09,476 Miranda, we're the only single people anywhere. 98 00:05:09,559 --> 00:05:11,853 Are you telling me that you didn't see all those 99 00:05:11,937 --> 00:05:14,564 "Don't worry, you'll find someone" looks? 100 00:05:15,816 --> 00:05:17,275 -Nope, didn't see them. -Hey. 101 00:05:17,359 --> 00:05:20,779 Society views single people our age as sad and pathetic. 102 00:05:20,862 --> 00:05:22,864 And I don't need that judgement hanging over my head 103 00:05:22,948 --> 00:05:24,950 so I go on the offensive and I make them laugh. 104 00:05:25,033 --> 00:05:26,034 Okay, Shecky. 105 00:05:27,369 --> 00:05:28,370 You know what? 106 00:05:28,912 --> 00:05:32,040 Sometimes I think people in couples look at us and wish they had our lives. 107 00:05:32,123 --> 00:05:33,083 Nope. 108 00:05:33,166 --> 00:05:35,919 We make them uncomfortable, and they don't know what to say. 109 00:05:36,419 --> 00:05:38,255 And you're sure you're not overreacting? 110 00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:39,339 Yeah. 111 00:05:46,388 --> 00:05:47,389 Coming. 112 00:05:48,473 --> 00:05:49,474 113 00:05:50,141 --> 00:05:51,142 God. 114 00:05:51,893 --> 00:05:52,894 Yes! 115 00:05:56,064 --> 00:05:57,107 What are we doing? 116 00:05:58,149 --> 00:05:59,150 Good night. 117 00:05:59,943 --> 00:06:00,944 Charlotte. 118 00:06:01,778 --> 00:06:04,072 My God, I thought it was the four horsemen of the apocalypse. 119 00:06:04,155 --> 00:06:07,033 I cannot go to any more parties until I know what we're going to do. 120 00:06:07,617 --> 00:06:09,703 -About what? -Us! 121 00:06:12,038 --> 00:06:13,832 I've been up for hours trying to figure out 122 00:06:13,915 --> 00:06:15,584 if we should stay together in spite of our issues. 123 00:06:15,667 --> 00:06:17,794 Look, I don't want to confuse you, so I made some notes. 124 00:06:18,879 --> 00:06:21,965 -You made some notes? -Yeah, it helps me to be clear. 125 00:06:22,048 --> 00:06:23,967 One, sex life. 126 00:06:24,968 --> 00:06:27,095 Well, the sex we had on the floor of your apartment 127 00:06:27,178 --> 00:06:28,471 was, uh, quite good, actually. 128 00:06:28,555 --> 00:06:29,723 One time. 129 00:06:30,098 --> 00:06:31,641 That does not a marriage make. 130 00:06:32,517 --> 00:06:34,811 Come inside. Maybe we can rack up a new score. 131 00:06:34,895 --> 00:06:38,982 Uh-uh. Two, you only want me when you can't have me. 132 00:06:39,983 --> 00:06:43,987 Did you make a note in there that mentions how beautiful you look tonight? 133 00:06:49,451 --> 00:06:51,745 We have some big decisions to make. 134 00:06:54,289 --> 00:06:55,290 Trey. 135 00:06:57,584 --> 00:06:58,752 You have a boner. 136 00:06:59,044 --> 00:07:00,337 Well, you are just so beautiful. 137 00:07:00,921 --> 00:07:03,590 I can't discuss my notes if you have a boner. 138 00:07:03,673 --> 00:07:05,008 -Come inside. -Oh. 139 00:07:05,091 --> 00:07:07,552 I cannot come inside, we are separated. 140 00:07:07,636 --> 00:07:09,012 141 00:07:10,263 --> 00:07:11,765 I have more notes. 142 00:07:12,182 --> 00:07:15,185 I think about you every night. May I take off your panties? 143 00:07:15,268 --> 00:07:17,103 -Don't. -All righty. 144 00:07:19,731 --> 00:07:22,025 You said you didn't want to be married. 145 00:07:22,943 --> 00:07:25,820 But now I don't know if I want to be married. 146 00:07:25,904 --> 00:07:27,906 147 00:07:28,615 --> 00:07:31,201 -Trey, are you... 148 00:07:33,244 --> 00:07:36,247 That night, neither Charlotte nor Trey came inside. 149 00:07:40,794 --> 00:07:42,212 I'm not quite sure what to say. 150 00:07:44,130 --> 00:07:45,966 I'm sorry, Charlotte, may I get you a hankie? 151 00:07:47,175 --> 00:07:48,969 It's too late for a hankie. 152 00:07:50,762 --> 00:07:52,472 This isn't working. 153 00:07:55,308 --> 00:07:58,853 Whatever this is we're doing, it isn't working. 154 00:08:05,735 --> 00:08:08,571 Just please stop calling me. 155 00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:11,658 I'll call you when I've figured out what I want. 156 00:08:12,242 --> 00:08:14,285 Charlotte, I love you. 157 00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:17,998 Send me the dry cleaning bill. 158 00:08:18,081 --> 00:08:19,499 Trey may have had a lot of flaws, 159 00:08:19,582 --> 00:08:21,501 but bad manners wasn't one of them. 160 00:08:29,426 --> 00:08:32,262 It was a lovely, uneventful Saturday morning. 161 00:08:32,887 --> 00:08:35,181 Three lattes, two newspapers, and... 162 00:08:38,309 --> 00:08:40,186 one dating-service application. 163 00:08:41,271 --> 00:08:44,190 "Dear single." "Single"? You don't even have a name? 164 00:08:44,274 --> 00:08:46,234 Well, I'm single, I don't deserve one. 165 00:08:46,317 --> 00:08:48,862 That's the postal equivalent of a drive-by shooting. 166 00:08:48,945 --> 00:08:50,822 Yeah, and I thought those 57 menus I get every day 167 00:08:50,905 --> 00:08:52,782 from Hunan Moonan were annoying. 168 00:08:52,866 --> 00:08:56,036 Look at this. "Don't let your soul mate slip away." 169 00:08:56,119 --> 00:08:57,454 Oh, I know. It's almost a threat. 170 00:08:57,537 --> 00:08:59,789 It's like, "We have him. He's just waiting for you. 171 00:08:59,873 --> 00:09:02,459 But hurry 'cause he's slipping, slipping away. Oops, there he goes." 172 00:09:02,542 --> 00:09:06,087 Soul mates only exist in the Hallmark aisle in Duane Reade drugs. 173 00:09:06,171 --> 00:09:07,297 I disagree. 174 00:09:07,630 --> 00:09:11,384 I believe there's that one perfect person out there to complete you. 175 00:09:11,468 --> 00:09:13,845 And if you don't find him? What, you're incomplete? 176 00:09:13,928 --> 00:09:15,638 It's so dangerous. 177 00:09:15,722 --> 00:09:19,476 All right, first of all, the idea that there's only one out there... 178 00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:21,394 Why don't I just shoot myself right now? 179 00:09:21,936 --> 00:09:24,522 I'd like to think that people have more than one soul mate. 180 00:09:24,606 --> 00:09:26,524 I agree, I've had hundreds. 181 00:09:26,608 --> 00:09:28,777 Yeah, and if you miss one, along comes another, like cabs. 182 00:09:28,860 --> 00:09:31,112 No, that is not how it works. 183 00:09:31,529 --> 00:09:32,864 Oh. Okay. 184 00:09:32,947 --> 00:09:34,783 But you're still looking outside yourself. 185 00:09:34,866 --> 00:09:36,409 It's saying that you're not enough. 186 00:09:36,493 --> 00:09:39,079 -Are you enough? -Actually, today she's too much. 187 00:09:39,162 --> 00:09:41,831 Look, the bad thing about the one perfect soul mate 188 00:09:41,915 --> 00:09:44,584 is that it's so unattainable. You're being set up to fail. 189 00:09:44,667 --> 00:09:46,920 Exactly, and you feel bad about yourself. 190 00:09:47,003 --> 00:09:47,962 Yeah, that makes the gap 191 00:09:48,046 --> 00:09:50,632 between the Holy Grail and the assholes even bigger. 192 00:09:50,715 --> 00:09:53,760 I don't care. I believe in soul mates. 193 00:09:54,511 --> 00:09:55,970 I thought Trey was mine. 194 00:09:56,930 --> 00:09:59,099 But I don't think that a soul mate would... 195 00:09:59,182 --> 00:10:00,892 -on your leg. -Mmm. 196 00:10:01,351 --> 00:10:02,435 Really true. 197 00:10:02,519 --> 00:10:05,105 But there's got to be that someone out there who's just perfect for me. 198 00:10:05,688 --> 00:10:06,856 Maybe I should keep looking. 199 00:10:07,524 --> 00:10:08,525 Here you go. 200 00:10:08,983 --> 00:10:12,737 -Okay, we're filling this out. -No, I'm not in the mood. 201 00:10:12,821 --> 00:10:14,114 Not for you, for her. 202 00:10:14,197 --> 00:10:15,698 -Oh, okay! -No. 203 00:10:15,782 --> 00:10:16,866 Yes! 204 00:10:16,950 --> 00:10:21,538 "Age. Check box. 20 to 25, 25 to 30, 30 to 34." 205 00:10:21,621 --> 00:10:23,790 No, not after next week. 206 00:10:23,873 --> 00:10:25,500 Birthday girl. 207 00:10:25,583 --> 00:10:27,043 Thirty-five. 208 00:10:27,127 --> 00:10:28,378 "35 to 44." 209 00:10:28,461 --> 00:10:30,839 Honey, welcome to my box. 210 00:10:37,137 --> 00:10:40,765 Soul mate. Two little words, one big concept. 211 00:10:41,432 --> 00:10:46,020 A belief that someone, somewhere is holding the key to your heart, 212 00:10:46,104 --> 00:10:47,564 and your dream house. 213 00:10:47,647 --> 00:10:49,566 All you have to do is find them. 214 00:10:50,108 --> 00:10:52,277 So where is this person? 215 00:10:52,861 --> 00:10:55,864 And if you loved someone and it didn't work out, 216 00:10:55,947 --> 00:10:57,782 does that mean they weren't your soul mate? 217 00:10:58,366 --> 00:11:00,952 Were they just a runner-up contestant in this game show 218 00:11:01,035 --> 00:11:02,579 called Happily Ever After? 219 00:11:03,037 --> 00:11:06,749 And as you move from age box to age box, 220 00:11:06,833 --> 00:11:09,419 and the contestants get fewer and fewer, 221 00:11:09,878 --> 00:11:12,839 are your chances of finding your soul mate less and less? 222 00:11:14,048 --> 00:11:17,093 Soul mates, reality or torture device? 223 00:11:17,177 --> 00:11:18,011 224 00:11:18,928 --> 00:11:23,141 What about a little birthday dinner? Il Cantinori, something nice. 225 00:11:23,224 --> 00:11:27,228 Hmm. I'm not sure I want to do anything. I'm kind of into laying low. 226 00:11:27,312 --> 00:11:30,732 -Laying low or feeling low? -No, I'm fine. 227 00:11:31,107 --> 00:11:34,027 Oh, come on, you've got to do better than that. 228 00:11:34,110 --> 00:11:37,447 You've got to grab 35 by the balls and say, "Hey, world, I'm 35!" 229 00:11:37,530 --> 00:11:39,115 Okay, calm down, Auntie Mame. 230 00:11:39,199 --> 00:11:41,826 I'll put the dinner together. All you have to do is show up. 231 00:11:41,910 --> 00:11:44,621 Just close friends, very fabulous-lite. 232 00:11:45,788 --> 00:11:46,956 All right. Yeah. 233 00:11:47,624 --> 00:11:49,417 That sounds fun, thank you. 234 00:11:51,085 --> 00:11:52,253 Should I invite Big? 235 00:11:53,004 --> 00:11:56,049 What, are you slowly trying to kill me on the way to lunch? 236 00:11:56,132 --> 00:11:58,384 Technically you are friends now, right? 237 00:11:59,010 --> 00:12:02,263 Uh, you know, a phone call here and there. It's friendly. 238 00:12:02,347 --> 00:12:03,765 Why, do you think I should I invite him? 239 00:12:03,848 --> 00:12:05,016 Oh, honey, how should I know? 240 00:12:05,099 --> 00:12:07,018 When I'm done with them, I'm done with them. 241 00:12:07,977 --> 00:12:09,812 Maybe not. Besides, I think he's still in London. 242 00:12:09,896 --> 00:12:12,232 Let's just keep it to low-maintenance friends. 243 00:12:12,982 --> 00:12:13,983 All right. 244 00:12:16,152 --> 00:12:17,654 Hey, welcome. Come in. Come in. 245 00:12:19,072 --> 00:12:20,740 He is hot. 246 00:12:21,241 --> 00:12:24,077 -He is a priest. -He is a hot priest. 247 00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:28,581 Look at his robe. It's so "Robin and his merry men." 248 00:12:28,665 --> 00:12:29,749 Está bien. Gracias. 249 00:12:30,083 --> 00:12:32,961 Ugh! You tell them, Friar Fuck. 250 00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:38,675 Okay, sister, let's go. I'm not gonna lose my table at Pastis 251 00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:40,385 so you can cruise a holy man. 252 00:12:40,468 --> 00:12:41,844 What street are we on, again? 253 00:12:43,054 --> 00:12:45,932 That Sunday, Samantha went to church. 254 00:12:52,355 --> 00:12:54,816 -Good morning. -Good morning. 255 00:12:54,899 --> 00:12:56,150 I couldn't help but notice 256 00:12:56,234 --> 00:12:58,278 all the good work you're doing in the neighborhood, 257 00:12:58,361 --> 00:13:00,947 and I just stopped to see if I could be of service. 258 00:13:01,030 --> 00:13:03,199 Well, we could use another hand in the kitchen. 259 00:13:04,575 --> 00:13:06,369 I'm in public relations. 260 00:13:06,452 --> 00:13:09,539 And I was thinking maybe I could help put a benefit together. 261 00:13:09,622 --> 00:13:11,791 Something classy, respectful. 262 00:13:11,874 --> 00:13:15,003 I can guarantee Donald Trump and Mario Thomas. 263 00:13:15,086 --> 00:13:18,631 Thank you, but here at All Souls, we're a little more low-key than that. 264 00:13:18,715 --> 00:13:21,884 We're more about collecting food, canned goods to feed to the needy. 265 00:13:23,261 --> 00:13:24,262 So... 266 00:13:24,971 --> 00:13:26,556 I love your robe. 267 00:13:26,639 --> 00:13:28,057 This is what we wear. 268 00:13:28,808 --> 00:13:31,060 I'm in the Franciscan order founded by St. Francis. 269 00:13:31,602 --> 00:13:33,521 -Oh. -The robe is, uh... 270 00:13:35,023 --> 00:13:36,232 Do you really want to hear about this? 271 00:13:36,774 --> 00:13:39,777 Oh. Tell me more about this St. Francis. 272 00:13:39,861 --> 00:13:43,698 He lived his life based on the vows of poverty and chastity. 273 00:13:44,490 --> 00:13:45,491 Here. 274 00:13:49,454 --> 00:13:51,247 It's St. Francis giving his coat to the poor. 275 00:13:57,420 --> 00:13:59,672 Samantha Jones, public relations. 276 00:14:00,923 --> 00:14:03,134 If you change your mind about the benefit... 277 00:14:04,344 --> 00:14:05,345 or anything. 278 00:14:09,724 --> 00:14:13,353 And just like that, Samantha went from Mr. No Soul 279 00:14:14,187 --> 00:14:15,605 to Mr. All Souls. 280 00:14:19,108 --> 00:14:22,111 After church, most people go out for pancakes. 281 00:14:22,737 --> 00:14:24,655 Samantha wasn't most people. 282 00:14:26,324 --> 00:14:28,326 283 00:14:32,497 --> 00:14:33,498 284 00:14:43,091 --> 00:14:46,844 Samantha, your face is glowing. Did you get a facial or something? 285 00:14:47,637 --> 00:14:49,555 I masturbated all afternoon. 286 00:14:49,639 --> 00:14:52,725 -All right, then. -Seriously? All afternoon? 287 00:14:52,809 --> 00:14:54,394 Well, two, two-and-a-half hours. 288 00:14:54,477 --> 00:14:57,063 Who's got that kind of time? I like to get in and get out. 289 00:14:57,146 --> 00:14:59,148 I enjoy a quickie every now and then too, 290 00:14:59,232 --> 00:15:01,234 but when it's good like today, I go with it. 291 00:15:01,859 --> 00:15:03,986 I masturbated to my priest. 292 00:15:04,070 --> 00:15:06,155 -Your priest? -Friar Fuck. 293 00:15:06,823 --> 00:15:08,991 Okay, I think we might have to get Charlotte a crash helmet. 294 00:15:09,075 --> 00:15:10,535 You have a priest? 295 00:15:10,618 --> 00:15:13,746 No. She wants him, but she can't have him. 296 00:15:13,830 --> 00:15:15,748 It's all very Thorn Birds. 297 00:15:15,832 --> 00:15:16,833 In my fantasy, 298 00:15:17,375 --> 00:15:20,253 he tears the food I'm carrying for the homeless out of my arms, 299 00:15:20,336 --> 00:15:22,255 rips open my dress, 300 00:15:22,338 --> 00:15:25,174 lays me down in the street and enters me. 301 00:15:26,175 --> 00:15:28,261 What do you do for the next two hours and twenty minutes? 302 00:15:28,344 --> 00:15:30,513 Stop, you are talking about a priest. 303 00:15:30,596 --> 00:15:34,892 It's a fantasy. I can masturbate to whomever I like. It's imagination. 304 00:15:34,976 --> 00:15:36,978 It's fun and perfectly healthy. 305 00:15:37,603 --> 00:15:39,272 Who do you all fantasize about? 306 00:15:39,981 --> 00:15:41,023 Russell Crowe. 307 00:15:41,107 --> 00:15:43,025 Jinx! You owe me a Coke. 308 00:15:43,609 --> 00:15:46,696 That's amazing. What did women do before Russell Crowe? 309 00:15:47,196 --> 00:15:48,531 George Clooney. 310 00:15:48,614 --> 00:15:52,034 Ah, Clooney. Clooney's like a Chanel suit. 311 00:15:52,118 --> 00:15:53,619 He'll always be in style. 312 00:15:53,703 --> 00:15:56,914 I used to masturbate to a busboy who was rude to me once. 313 00:15:56,998 --> 00:15:57,999 What do you think that means? 314 00:16:00,835 --> 00:16:02,670 Fine, the cheese stands alone. 315 00:16:02,753 --> 00:16:04,130 Oh, come on, Charlotte. 316 00:16:04,213 --> 00:16:06,632 Get that judgmental puss off, and join in. 317 00:16:06,716 --> 00:16:08,342 Who do you fantasize about? 318 00:16:08,718 --> 00:16:10,970 No, it's private. 319 00:16:11,053 --> 00:16:14,140 Oh, come on, it can't be any worse than a priest and a busboy. 320 00:16:14,223 --> 00:16:17,477 We're not moving on till you tell us about one of your masturbation guys. 321 00:16:18,519 --> 00:16:20,313 Well, it's not guys. 322 00:16:20,771 --> 00:16:23,316 Lately, it's just one man. 323 00:16:23,399 --> 00:16:24,400 L.L. Bean? 324 00:16:25,401 --> 00:16:26,402 No. 325 00:16:27,487 --> 00:16:28,321 Trey. 326 00:16:30,072 --> 00:16:33,910 And we have this really, you know, perfect sex. 327 00:16:35,077 --> 00:16:36,496 What do you think it means? 328 00:16:49,258 --> 00:16:50,259 329 00:16:51,219 --> 00:16:52,553 330 00:16:52,637 --> 00:16:56,599 This is 459-1905. I'm not in, so please leave a message. 331 00:16:57,391 --> 00:16:58,976 Hey. Uh... 332 00:16:59,060 --> 00:17:01,103 I think you're still in England, 333 00:17:01,187 --> 00:17:05,650 but it's midnight here in New York, and it's my birthday. 334 00:17:06,943 --> 00:17:08,486 I am officially old. 335 00:17:08,986 --> 00:17:12,698 So, um, I felt the need to call someone... 336 00:17:13,491 --> 00:17:15,117 older. 337 00:17:15,201 --> 00:17:16,202 Um... 338 00:17:16,285 --> 00:17:19,372 Anyway, some friends are giving me a dinner tomorrow night. 339 00:17:19,455 --> 00:17:22,333 Actually it's tonight, and you're a friend. 340 00:17:22,416 --> 00:17:25,294 So if you are back in town, 341 00:17:25,378 --> 00:17:29,298 it's going to be at Il Cantinori at 8:30. 342 00:17:29,382 --> 00:17:31,259 And if you're 343 00:17:32,051 --> 00:17:33,719 still in London, 344 00:17:34,262 --> 00:17:36,639 then, um, cheerio, old chap. 345 00:17:37,223 --> 00:17:38,683 So, okay. 346 00:17:40,518 --> 00:17:41,519 347 00:17:45,690 --> 00:17:47,441 The next day, on Wall Street... 348 00:17:47,525 --> 00:17:48,359 Miranda? 349 00:17:49,944 --> 00:17:52,446 Sheila, hi! How are you? 350 00:17:52,530 --> 00:17:54,156 I'm fantastic! Oh, gosh! 351 00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:57,076 Joe and I just got back from New Orleans. So how are you? 352 00:17:57,159 --> 00:17:58,494 Are you seeing anyone special? 353 00:17:59,704 --> 00:18:01,706 But Miranda wasn't feeling very Shecky. 354 00:18:01,789 --> 00:18:02,999 Actually, no, I'm not. 355 00:18:03,082 --> 00:18:05,376 Well... Look, he's out there for you somewhere. 356 00:18:05,459 --> 00:18:06,836 You just haven't met him yet, right? 357 00:18:07,295 --> 00:18:10,756 Maybe, maybe not. I don't know if I believe all that. 358 00:18:11,465 --> 00:18:13,926 Maybe there isn't someone for everyone. 359 00:18:14,385 --> 00:18:16,262 There it was. The truth. 360 00:18:16,345 --> 00:18:19,307 No Hallmark hope, no two-drink minimum. 361 00:18:19,390 --> 00:18:22,685 So how is Joe? You guys have been married for how many years now? 362 00:18:22,768 --> 00:18:23,811 -Five. -Wow. 363 00:18:24,270 --> 00:18:26,814 And I bet you're thinking, "Where are the kids?" Right? Right? 364 00:18:26,897 --> 00:18:29,525 It's like I said to Joe. We can have kids 365 00:18:29,609 --> 00:18:32,612 or we can have gorgeous fabric without chocolate stains. 366 00:18:32,695 --> 00:18:36,240 Miranda realized it's not just about being single. 367 00:18:36,324 --> 00:18:39,869 Everyone has a sore spot that needs a little comedy routine. 368 00:18:39,952 --> 00:18:41,203 ...let alone a poopy diaper. 369 00:18:41,829 --> 00:18:43,497 And so, Miranda laughed. 370 00:18:43,581 --> 00:18:47,710 Not because it was particularly funny, but because it was kind. 371 00:18:47,793 --> 00:18:48,794 ...could you imagine? 372 00:18:48,878 --> 00:18:50,880 373 00:18:56,719 --> 00:18:58,137 They told me you were inside. 374 00:18:59,513 --> 00:19:00,640 Am I disturbing you? 375 00:19:02,475 --> 00:19:03,476 May I join you? 376 00:19:16,530 --> 00:19:18,491 I was thinking about you yesterday. 377 00:19:19,200 --> 00:19:21,160 You and the work that you do. 378 00:19:23,663 --> 00:19:24,830 I was at the market. 379 00:19:32,171 --> 00:19:33,589 They're Le Sueur peas. 380 00:19:35,216 --> 00:19:36,258 They're the best. 381 00:19:36,759 --> 00:19:37,677 That's very kind. 382 00:19:38,886 --> 00:19:39,887 Thank you. 383 00:19:43,766 --> 00:19:45,434 I have a confession to make. 384 00:19:46,936 --> 00:19:49,689 I think about you other places than the market. 385 00:19:52,483 --> 00:19:54,235 Do you ever think about me? 386 00:19:56,487 --> 00:19:57,863 I believe that God made the body. 387 00:19:59,323 --> 00:20:00,950 And it's perfect in its splendor. 388 00:20:02,827 --> 00:20:04,120 But I'm not of my body. 389 00:20:05,913 --> 00:20:08,666 My life is about other joys. 390 00:20:20,302 --> 00:20:23,556 Samantha wondered if maybe the hot monk was her soul mate 391 00:20:23,639 --> 00:20:25,558 as he was certainly unattainable. 392 00:20:26,308 --> 00:20:27,476 393 00:20:27,977 --> 00:20:30,688 I arrived at my party after a day of shopping. 394 00:20:30,771 --> 00:20:32,523 With no true soul mate, 395 00:20:32,606 --> 00:20:35,317 I spent the afternoon with my shoe soul mate, 396 00:20:35,401 --> 00:20:36,610 Manolo Blahnik. 397 00:20:36,694 --> 00:20:38,195 Oh, good evening, can I help you? 398 00:20:38,279 --> 00:20:40,573 Yes, Bradshaw, party of ten. 399 00:20:41,699 --> 00:20:44,910 Yes. You're the first to arrive. Follow me, please. 400 00:20:48,622 --> 00:20:51,667 It's 8:45... The reservation was for 8:30, right? 401 00:20:51,751 --> 00:20:53,878 -Yeah, that's right. Here you go. -Okay. 402 00:20:55,087 --> 00:20:56,630 -Enjoy. -Thank you. 403 00:20:58,841 --> 00:20:59,884 404 00:20:59,967 --> 00:21:01,343 - Hi. -Hi. 405 00:21:01,427 --> 00:21:03,012 Would you like a drink whilst you're waiting? 406 00:21:03,095 --> 00:21:06,098 Uh, yeah. I'll have a Shirley Temple, please. 407 00:21:06,724 --> 00:21:07,933 Once everyone else gets here, 408 00:21:08,017 --> 00:21:09,518 we're gonna be drinking a lot of champagne. 409 00:21:09,602 --> 00:21:11,270 Good, great, excellent. 410 00:21:11,353 --> 00:21:12,354 411 00:21:22,448 --> 00:21:25,242 Twenty minutes later, still no party. 412 00:21:28,954 --> 00:21:30,915 Hi. Still alone. 413 00:21:30,998 --> 00:21:34,460 Um, did anyone call asking for Bradshaw? 414 00:21:34,543 --> 00:21:37,713 Not that I'm aware of. Let me check with the maitre d'. 415 00:21:37,797 --> 00:21:38,798 Okay, thanks. 416 00:21:42,301 --> 00:21:43,636 Can I bring you some champagne now? 417 00:21:44,845 --> 00:21:45,888 No, not yet. 418 00:21:45,971 --> 00:21:47,973 Good, great, excellent. 419 00:21:50,559 --> 00:21:53,979 Happy birthday to you 420 00:21:54,563 --> 00:21:58,317 Happy birthday to you 421 00:21:58,400 --> 00:22:03,155 Happy birthday, dear Marta 422 00:22:03,239 --> 00:22:06,659 Happy birthday to you 423 00:22:06,742 --> 00:22:10,079 Twenty-five! Fuck, I'm old! 424 00:22:10,162 --> 00:22:11,163 425 00:22:16,001 --> 00:22:17,002 426 00:22:18,045 --> 00:22:19,046 427 00:22:21,757 --> 00:22:22,758 Hi. 428 00:22:24,385 --> 00:22:27,179 Sorry for holding the table. I can't imagine where everybody is. 429 00:22:27,263 --> 00:22:29,765 There is only one Il Cantinori, right? 430 00:22:29,849 --> 00:22:31,642 -Yes. -Okay. 431 00:22:31,725 --> 00:22:32,726 Um... 432 00:22:33,769 --> 00:22:38,023 The woman with the birthday cake is here and she needs to be paid. 433 00:22:39,108 --> 00:22:40,109 Oh. 434 00:22:40,484 --> 00:22:41,485 Okay. 435 00:22:41,569 --> 00:22:43,237 I'll just get my purse. 436 00:22:45,739 --> 00:22:49,243 After I paid $70 for my own birthday cake, 437 00:22:49,326 --> 00:22:51,787 I was totally out of the party mood. 438 00:22:51,871 --> 00:22:54,582 So I decided to go home and kill myself. 439 00:22:54,665 --> 00:22:57,376 -Hey, whoa, lady, what are you doing? -Get off of there! 440 00:22:57,459 --> 00:22:58,961 Look where you're standing! It's right there! 441 00:22:59,044 --> 00:23:02,131 -It's wet, get the hell off there! -No, the other way! 442 00:23:02,214 --> 00:23:04,383 -The other way, for Christ sakes! -Come on! 443 00:23:06,093 --> 00:23:07,052 For crying out loud! 444 00:23:07,136 --> 00:23:09,138 445 00:23:14,476 --> 00:23:16,562 Jesus Christ! Don't pick up the cake! 446 00:23:19,732 --> 00:23:21,525 -She's picking it up! -I'm sorry! 447 00:23:21,609 --> 00:23:23,569 Marilyn Monroe, do me a fucking favor, get off the road! 448 00:23:24,069 --> 00:23:25,654 I'm sorry! 449 00:23:25,738 --> 00:23:28,449 -Sorry. We'll bring some beer over. -Shit. 450 00:23:28,532 --> 00:23:31,327 -I'm sorry! God! 451 00:23:32,786 --> 00:23:36,373 By the time I got home, I had fallen into an emotional hole so deep 452 00:23:36,457 --> 00:23:39,168 only a fireman without a collarbone could rescue me. 453 00:23:40,336 --> 00:23:42,421 You have 14 messages. 454 00:23:43,130 --> 00:23:46,133 Honey, I'm trapped at work, I'll be ten minutes late. 455 00:23:46,216 --> 00:23:48,093 The reservation line is busy, I'll see you soon. 456 00:23:48,177 --> 00:23:49,011 457 00:23:49,094 --> 00:23:52,348 Carrie, I'm in traffic. They're paving Fifth Avenue. 458 00:23:52,431 --> 00:23:55,017 No one can get through, don't wait for me. Happy birthday! 459 00:23:55,100 --> 00:23:57,519 I'm stuck in fucking traffic. 460 00:23:57,603 --> 00:24:00,773 I don't know how to spell Il Cantinori for the idiot at 411. 461 00:24:00,856 --> 00:24:02,816 -Get a cell phone! 462 00:24:02,900 --> 00:24:06,320 Carrie, it's Stanford. I'm at the wrong place. 463 00:24:06,403 --> 00:24:07,863 Did you know there's a Mexican restaurant 464 00:24:07,947 --> 00:24:10,699 on University and 11th called El Cantinoro? 465 00:24:15,621 --> 00:24:16,997 -Carrie. 466 00:24:17,081 --> 00:24:19,041 Okay, I'm here. They said you just left. 467 00:24:19,124 --> 00:24:20,960 Where are you? We're still here. 468 00:24:21,710 --> 00:24:22,586 469 00:24:22,670 --> 00:24:25,089 Okay, so now we're coming uptown. 470 00:24:25,172 --> 00:24:27,299 Meet you at the coffee shop in 20 minutes. 471 00:24:27,383 --> 00:24:29,343 - End of messages. 472 00:24:29,927 --> 00:24:31,053 - Carrie? 473 00:24:31,136 --> 00:24:32,346 474 00:24:32,429 --> 00:24:35,432 It's just me. It's just me. Charlotte. 475 00:24:38,060 --> 00:24:40,104 I just aged 35 more years. 476 00:24:43,565 --> 00:24:45,025 What are you doing here? 477 00:24:45,109 --> 00:24:47,778 I'm sorry, I came to take you to the coffee shop. 478 00:24:47,861 --> 00:24:48,988 No. Uh-uh. I'm going to bed. 479 00:24:49,071 --> 00:24:51,699 I am not in the mood to be with a bunch of people. 480 00:24:51,782 --> 00:24:54,827 Oh, come on, it's just the four of us. You have to come, it's your birthday. 481 00:24:55,369 --> 00:24:58,455 Oh. I'm aware of that. 482 00:25:02,042 --> 00:25:04,378 The longer I sat at that table, the more alone I felt. 483 00:25:04,461 --> 00:25:07,923 And it really hit me. I am 35 and alone. 484 00:25:08,007 --> 00:25:09,341 You are not alone. 485 00:25:09,425 --> 00:25:11,260 No, I know I have you guys, but... 486 00:25:12,886 --> 00:25:15,681 And really, I hate myself a little for saying this, but... 487 00:25:19,309 --> 00:25:20,644 it felt really sad 488 00:25:22,312 --> 00:25:24,982 not to have a man in my life who cares about me. 489 00:25:27,776 --> 00:25:30,237 No special guy to wish me happy birthday. 490 00:25:33,407 --> 00:25:34,950 No goddamn soul mate. 491 00:25:37,578 --> 00:25:39,455 And I don't even know if I believe in soul mates. 492 00:25:47,337 --> 00:25:48,630 Don't laugh at me, 493 00:25:50,507 --> 00:25:52,468 but maybe we could be each other's soul mates. 494 00:25:54,803 --> 00:25:56,889 And then we could let men be 495 00:25:56,972 --> 00:25:59,641 just these great, nice guys to have fun with. 496 00:26:02,811 --> 00:26:05,647 Well, that sounds like a plan. 497 00:26:06,774 --> 00:26:09,234 I'm 35. 35 is not 25. 498 00:26:09,318 --> 00:26:10,736 Thank God. 499 00:26:11,236 --> 00:26:13,655 I'm 35. 500 00:26:13,739 --> 00:26:16,742 Oh, shut the fuck up, I'm 140. 501 00:26:16,825 --> 00:26:17,826 502 00:26:33,258 --> 00:26:34,259 503 00:26:56,198 --> 00:26:57,116 Hey. 504 00:27:00,869 --> 00:27:01,870 505 00:27:05,958 --> 00:27:07,209 Happy birthday, baby. 506 00:27:08,752 --> 00:27:09,753 Get in. 507 00:27:11,588 --> 00:27:13,173 It's after 12:00, you're late. 508 00:27:13,590 --> 00:27:15,175 Not really, I'm on London time. 509 00:27:15,259 --> 00:27:17,344 London is five hours ahead. 510 00:27:18,178 --> 00:27:19,805 In that case, I'm really fucking late. 511 00:27:21,056 --> 00:27:24,768 I can't believe you actually got out of the car and got balloons. 512 00:27:25,269 --> 00:27:26,979 I didn't, Raoul did. 513 00:27:27,604 --> 00:27:28,605 Good man. 514 00:27:31,150 --> 00:27:32,151 So... 515 00:27:34,403 --> 00:27:35,904 -How old are you? -How old are you? 516 00:27:35,988 --> 00:27:36,864 Nope. 517 00:27:36,947 --> 00:27:39,158 You don't have to give me an exact number. 518 00:27:39,616 --> 00:27:40,617 Pick a box. 519 00:27:41,201 --> 00:27:45,455 30 to 35, 35 to 40, 40 to 45? 520 00:27:47,207 --> 00:27:48,375 Really? 521 00:27:49,126 --> 00:27:50,711 40 to 45. 522 00:27:50,794 --> 00:27:53,172 I don't know what you're referring to. I had something in my eye. 523 00:28:01,680 --> 00:28:03,223 How do you feel about soul mates? 524 00:28:04,641 --> 00:28:05,642 Well... 525 00:28:06,977 --> 00:28:08,270 I like the word "soul." 526 00:28:09,646 --> 00:28:10,939 I like the word "mate." 527 00:28:11,940 --> 00:28:13,317 Other than that, you got me. 528 00:28:23,535 --> 00:28:24,578 Did you have a nice day? 529 00:28:25,454 --> 00:28:26,997 I had a fabulous day. 530 00:28:28,665 --> 00:28:29,666 Good for you. 531 00:28:30,417 --> 00:28:31,418 532 00:28:36,423 --> 00:28:39,384 As Big's car drove away, I realized 533 00:28:39,468 --> 00:28:42,179 having three soul mates already nailed down 534 00:28:42,262 --> 00:28:47,226 made it a lot easier to spot those great, nice guys to have fun with. 535 00:29:03,408 --> 00:29:05,327